My name is Casper

Another day just passed, another day on the project. Every day is the same and I do not recall when did it start.

The first thing I do when I wake up is switching on my computer to check if anybody contacted me and expecting something interesting to happen. Every day same disappointment. I take my breakfast watching TV-shows, thinking how much the character's lives are so much more exciting than mine.

I need to go to library and do my project. On the way, taking a sandwich every time at the same place. The cashiers must think I must be a bland student too lazy to make his own sandwich. On the streets, people walk fast and seems busy, having an exciting lives, something to pursue. Always people trying to give you their magazines, that I always try to politely refused. The underground is always an interesting place. Once you enter it, people faces shut down and most keep quiet while on the tube. Nobody wants to talk to each other, everybody trying to keep his own little privacy. I observe always this with amusement.

In the library, sitting down in front of a computer, it seems my life is surrounded by computers all the time. I quickly look if anyone contacted me while on the way to library, reading the news and then start doing the research, programming. Every day same frustration, trial and errors is part of the research. Always need to rethink about the program, about my understanding of the mathematical concepts. Sometimes checking if anything new in my contact, but always the same disappointment, a disappointment worst than the one of the research. This continue until the library close.

Time for dinner, my only time of creativity where I cook what I want and experiment what I like , have seen or eaten before. After studying the papers and finishing my dinner, I go to the gym for an hour and a half. The only time I do not think about my miserable condition.

As you can see, at no point in the day have I interacted with anyone and opened my mouth at all. Sometimes this can last for several days. The project keeps me from doing things and it is a terrible feeling. I have become a ghost, no one would want to interact with a ghost...

Places I like to eat in London

Here are several places I that I have discovered this year in London. The following list is in order.

- Red Sun (2A New Quebec Street Mayfair, London W1H 7RD), home-made food from Shanghai. Small cosy place, very tasty.

- C&R Cafe Restaurant (3-4 Rupert Court, London, W1D 6DY), Malaysian cafe restaurant. Quite liked their roti and lahksa. It may look dodgy, but the food is tasty but not too spicy (unfortunately). Relatively cheap and big portion

- The Old Place (Liverpool Street), Chinese restaurant which serves big portion tasty dishes and for cheap prices.

- Royal China Club (Baker Street), I very liked the dim sum there. I tried the dinner there and it was not too good, with the food coming cold.

- Ah-King Cafe Noodles (Bloomsbury). Very good restaurant, cosy and fresh. I liked their noodles with beef and the wonton soup. They give a free home made soup of carrots, leaves.

-Hi Sushi (camden town, leicester square), very good sushi buffet

- Hiroba (Holborn), very good sushi and other good japanese dishes

- Asadal (Holborn), Very tasty and exquisite Korean restaurant, a bit expensive though.

-The Bamboo House (Shepherd Bush), Very good hotpot, unlimited food and drinks, very spicy but delicious.

- Hare and Tortoise (Bloomsbury), It's like a Wagamama, but with higher standard of food, bigger portion , better taste and cheaper prices.

- Chiquito, mexican place near the O2. Very good and very cheap. I really liked their starters.

- Mugen, Japanese Restaurant near Monument Station.One of the best japanese restaurant that I have eaten in London. Good price and big portion.

- Tonku, japanese restaurant near picadilly circus. Yummy but a bit pricey.

- Zen China, chinese restaurant near the london eye. Very good view of the thames, the london eye and big ben. The food is very good and delicate as well.

- UME, malaysian food near Bank, it's excellent for lunch. It has quite a lot of chilli but I like spicy food. The portion are quite decent, and it is definitely a must.

"Why? Why we gotta die? I just wanna live forever"

Death is the finality of all of our lives, whether we like it or not. Some are quite happy about the idea of dying, because it can release us from our suffering and pain. Others are desperate and depressed about the idea that one day, we will no more belong to this world.

In my opinion, death is what push us to live and to achieve things. If time was not limited, we will not try to start doing anything of our lives, because most of us will choose the easy way and do nothing. Because there is a start, there is an end. Therefore everybody want to achieve something in their lives, to make it meaningful in many ways. We all want to think that our lives were worth it. So we all try to push ourselves to make things like travelling, meeting people, learning, working etc.

Death is one of the reasons that push us to do things and should not be seen as a fatality but as a reason to live.