My name is Casper

Another day just passed, another day on the project. Every day is the same and I do not recall when did it start.

The first thing I do when I wake up is switching on my computer to check if anybody contacted me and expecting something interesting to happen. Every day same disappointment. I take my breakfast watching TV-shows, thinking how much the character's lives are so much more exciting than mine.

I need to go to library and do my project. On the way, taking a sandwich every time at the same place. The cashiers must think I must be a bland student too lazy to make his own sandwich. On the streets, people walk fast and seems busy, having an exciting lives, something to pursue. Always people trying to give you their magazines, that I always try to politely refused. The underground is always an interesting place. Once you enter it, people faces shut down and most keep quiet while on the tube. Nobody wants to talk to each other, everybody trying to keep his own little privacy. I observe always this with amusement.

In the library, sitting down in front of a computer, it seems my life is surrounded by computers all the time. I quickly look if anyone contacted me while on the way to library, reading the news and then start doing the research, programming. Every day same frustration, trial and errors is part of the research. Always need to rethink about the program, about my understanding of the mathematical concepts. Sometimes checking if anything new in my contact, but always the same disappointment, a disappointment worst than the one of the research. This continue until the library close.

Time for dinner, my only time of creativity where I cook what I want and experiment what I like , have seen or eaten before. After studying the papers and finishing my dinner, I go to the gym for an hour and a half. The only time I do not think about my miserable condition.

As you can see, at no point in the day have I interacted with anyone and opened my mouth at all. Sometimes this can last for several days. The project keeps me from doing things and it is a terrible feeling. I have become a ghost, no one would want to interact with a ghost...